Dear Leonardo DiCaprio
I confess I’m writing to you not because I find you particularly interesting, but rather because my boss suggested it. She may perhaps be sweet on you; I’m afraid I didn’t ask.
I vaguely remember you from ‘Growing Pains’ though I admit I was still young enough to not be paying particular attention. I really enjoyed your performance in ‘What’s Eating Gilbert Grape’ but I’m afraid the movie still makes me uncomfortable.
I’m wary to admit I’m one of the few people who doesn’t find ‘Titanic’ particularly romantic, which is strange given I’ve always found tragic love immensely appealing…but someone the story just doesn’t float my boat…no pun intended.
I’m pleased by your environmentalism and support of politics, which demonstrates you obviously have a brain in that rather large head of yours, but other than that I’m just not that interested in you. I apologize, but you kind of bore me…I really don’t like how you repeatedly get nominated for Academy Awards and don’t win. You always just sit there and clap politely…I wonder sometimes what’s going on behind that rather trite expression you seem to sport year after year. Maybe this year will be your year. Or next year…
~Christie